


If You can See the Sun

by NeverDyingRose, Reinamarieseregon



Series: From Light [2]
Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Dragon Age - Freeform, Dragon Age 2 - Freeform, Dragon Age II Spoilers, F/M, Fenris/Hawke - Freeform, Lots of Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-04-12 12:21:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4479053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverDyingRose/pseuds/NeverDyingRose, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reinamarieseregon/pseuds/Reinamarieseregon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hawke and Fenris with a dash of angst. Plus the whole relationship bug with Isabela and Fenris (Follows In Another Life) </p><p>Reinamarieseregon is my beta for this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You can See the Sun

**To See the Sun**

Hawke narrowed her eyes at the empty bottle of wine. She was sure it had been at least half full when she had checked a minute ago. Or was that half an hour ago? An hour? This was why she didn’t drink at the Hanged Man. She didn’t know why she allowed Varric to talk her into ‘a few more pints’. She had to admit the storyteller could spin one hell of a tale when he wanted! Briefly, she remembered being led to the bar, by his promise **of** laying their mysterious breakup tale to rest. She was grateful for the normalcy of the Hanged Man to come home to.

“Hawke, that’s quite enough.” Damn, why must that voice be so husky and tempting? She sighed heavily and rolled her eyes.

“Fenris, to what do I owe the pleasure?” She almost giggled when she thought of a new petname she secretly coined for the elf. “Her Doom” shadowed her. She always sensed his presence, as if their previous rapport had linked them telepathically. Thanks to the sociable dwarf who didn’t want to leave any mutual friends out for their game nights, Fenris still showed up. Even if he did not speak much, he was an excellent audience for storytelling, occasionally the elf shared private jokes with the other men or Isabela too.

“You have drunk Varric under the table. I am sure he will keep your reward in reserve for the morning.”

She made the action of swatting away an irritating pest. “Get out of my face!”

Her Doom’s cold hand hovered over her shoulder, his lips pursed. She noticed he was not wearing the metallic gauntlets tonight, so he would feel warmer. Fenris blinked and withdrew his almost-touch.

  _What, he’s scared of me now? Ha!_ _Hawke smirked._

“As your friend, I can’t turn a blind eye…” He stated in his no-nonsense tone.Now the mage turned towards him, as he kept his eyes focused on a tiny spot of ale on her collar. His hands, the elegant yet vile markings reflecting off his armour, teasing her drink away from her. Somehow she trained her drooping eyes on that movement, admiring his sexiness in a hazy aura. In her mind, she visualized them drinking and laughing together once more…

“Allow me to walk you home.”

Hawke’s brief moment of lucidity shattered and she swiped her glass out of his hands, ignoring his flinch, and gulped down the rest of it.

“Are _you_ drunk too, Fenris? Do you take me for an idiot? I can take care of myself! Leave me be!”

“Fenris,” Anther man spoke from behind her with a Starkhaven accent. “That’s sound advice. I’ll take care of her.”

Sebastian never failed to make her smile. Yes! She expected Fenris to take the first opportunity to leave, now he had the reassurance she wouldn’t be murdered tonight.

“It is not _your_ responsibility to be by her side.” Fenris growled.

The brother cupped his hand over Fenris’ ear and the elf’s eyes widened just a fraction of a second. She could not hear them.

Isabela blew him a kiss and swirled her bottle of whiskey. Fenris weighed his options, looking between his responsibility and the whore. He closed his eyes for a moment, savouring this moment and then finally decided. But his heart was not in it.

“Come on, Lass. Let’s get you home.”

She laughed loudly and smacked him. “Now, brother! I’m not that kind of girl!” Apparently the alcohol burning in her bloodstream still affected her humour. Sebastian blushed, which Hawke found hilarious, and stuttered out an apology. He placed one gloved hand around her waist and helped her to her feet.

The stars dotted the midnight sky, the grim Kirkwall buildings fading into the background like a bad memory. Hawke tipped her head back to admire the view, and her feet managed to keep up with the pace that Sebastian set, though her head felt like cotton and her throat was parched.

“Do you think the Maker is looking down on us right now?” she asked.

“Of course I do, lass.”

“Do you think He’s bored? I’d be bored. Isabela is more pretty, isn’t she?”

Sebastian coughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. “I… erm…”

“It’s alright. I know.”  Now they had returned to her mansion. _Ah, those crests, so much if they were no identifying her._

Like the very same symbol of Fenris which now resided under a box lid.

“I can take it from here. Thanks, Seb.” Hawke didn’t want her friend to worry about her. Still, the armoured chantry boy didn’t go to move. He knocked twice on the door and waited beside her faithfully, till the door creaked open. A cautious face appeared behind the door.

“Messere Hawke! Welcome home!”  Bodahn welcomed her inside.

“Sorry to wake you, Bodahn.” Sebastian said while keeping an idea on Hawke as she tiptoed into the library. “I will see to her. Good night.”

He followed her odd humming into the library.

Her petite figure danced to imaginary music. Her eyes were closed and she gracefully traced glyphs in the air but there was no sign of casting. Sebastian watched the woman who had saved an entire city and stopped a Qunari invasion. It was hard to see her as the Champion when she was drunkenly dancing and in pain. She was beautiful and seducing but in an untouchable way. Like art, Sebastian believed Hawke to be admired and definitely not touched.

She stopped. Her hands were still entangled in her wild hair. When she turned to him, he felt like he had been caught rifling in the Divine’s unmentionables.

“I… I should leave.” He stuttered for lack of something better to say.

“Okey dokey! I’ll be here if you need me!”  She waved and smiled brightly. But her fake smile wavered on the vestiges of a breaking heart.

Sebastian held her hand, She seemed so fragile. She had lost much weight since he had last seen her and reeked of alcohol fumes.

He opened and closed his mouth. There was a pregnant pause until he found the right words and voice, “It will be okay, lass.”

His attempt at comfort was met with harsh laughter. If pain had a sound, it would be Hawke’s laughter at that moment. She laughed at her bitterness, desperation, suffering emptiness.

It hadn’t taken much to break her. Just one night of devotion. Hawke wrapped her arms around the brother’s neck and pulled him into a tight hug. Cinnamon masked by cheap ale toyed with him.

“He had this light to him that fought the shadows. I thought I could make him see that. I… I really thought we would be good for each other but all I did was hurt him. Why? After everything he’s been through, I hurt him.”

“I am sure it isn’t as you imagined it to be.”

She harshly swiped away the stray tear away from her eye before it could fall.

“He said Isabela doesn’t make the memories come back.” Why did fate torment her so?

The chantry brother gently gripped her arms and untangled her so he could look into her sad eyes.

“ _You are_ Elissa Hawke. The Saviour of Kirkwall!” Sebastian said as he stroked her cheek. “And also the most beautiful, brave, humorous, and forgiving woman I have ever met. You will get through this. I will pray for you and Fenris.”

She retreated back into his embrace, sniffling and rested her head on his shoulder.

“How can I compare to Isabela?”

He smirked and stroked her hair.

“You’re purer than her. ”

“That’s all you have to say?”

“Come away with me.” His suggestion was out before his subconscious thought to check with his logic.

She untangled herself from the brother and glanced up. Her drunken muddled mind was missing parts of the conversation but she had definitely heard the offer!

“What?” Elissa gaped.

He cleared his throat. “I have a modest place on the outskirts of Nevarra. Will you join me?”

She grinned, this time the gesture seemed less spiteful.

“Always.”

“I will call on you in the morning, Serah Hawke. We will talk further in the morning, assuming you remember any of this.”

He managed to help her up the stairs and into her room. She was out like a light, the moment she flopped down on the soft warm bed.


End file.
